I have been struggling with my
younger sisters mental illness alone and told a colleague briefly about
it in a text. I had previously said I was very stressed and she asked
why so I told her. She never replied and now I am worried she doesn't
want to know me anymore because of my family circumstance.
I am always there for her and although she is going through her own problems at the moment, I thought it would be OK to tell her. Was that a selfish decision on her part and is her silence because of this?
I am always there for her and although she is going through her own problems at the moment, I thought it would be OK to tell her. Was that a selfish decision on her part and is her silence because of this?
Solace Befriend's Answer:
No one can answer what your colleague's intentions are in her silence.
A) she may be busy, B) She may be in her own crisis, C) She may have had
a one way relationship with you where you listened to her problems but
she can't do the same, D) or maybe she is overwhelmed by your issues and
needs some space.
I would advise treating the situation as if she as a person has a right to take some space for whatever reasons and not make it a reflection on your conversation
If the friendship continues in the future is a mystery, but allowing them to do what they need to do is what a friend would do. It is not selfish to make everything about ourselves, it is a natural response. To step above that and allow others to do what they need to do, is in the end better self-care.
Egotistical Selfishness: Running around with a rubber stamp saying "ME" and making everything about me: my friend, my needs, my work, my role...
Self-Centered Selfishness: Putting my needs first and focusing INWARDS, so that I can stand on my own two feet and have anything INSIDE to give to others.
If you were sinking in quicksand the Egoist is useless (too far off balance focusing outwards) but the Self-Centered one could be a lifesaver.
Be the second kind of selfish, not the first. Take Care of yourself and don't worry what others are thinking. It is none of our business what others think of us.
I would advise treating the situation as if she as a person has a right to take some space for whatever reasons and not make it a reflection on your conversation
If the friendship continues in the future is a mystery, but allowing them to do what they need to do is what a friend would do. It is not selfish to make everything about ourselves, it is a natural response. To step above that and allow others to do what they need to do, is in the end better self-care.
Egotistical Selfishness: Running around with a rubber stamp saying "ME" and making everything about me: my friend, my needs, my work, my role...
Self-Centered Selfishness: Putting my needs first and focusing INWARDS, so that I can stand on my own two feet and have anything INSIDE to give to others.
If you were sinking in quicksand the Egoist is useless (too far off balance focusing outwards) but the Self-Centered one could be a lifesaver.
Be the second kind of selfish, not the first. Take Care of yourself and don't worry what others are thinking. It is none of our business what others think of us.
The Source of the above:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120505085812AAKgiu4
No comments:
Post a Comment