Barbie and Lovely Speak!

Notes from the Yahoo Consume-Yer Cervix Department

(Check out my Letter to Yahoo in the next post,
and stay at the bottom of this one for the musical finale!)

01/30/2013 02:03 PM Dear Yahoo Customer Service, I went to open my account today XXXXXX@ymail.com and it did not recognize my password. It then asked me a question “Who is your favorite uncle?” that I never installed, (because I have more than 10 uncles NONE of whom I know personally, so what was supposed to be the right answer?) I tried them all and it locked the account. Can you please send me a new temporary password to my listed alternate account x.x.xxxxx@gmail.com. Thank You. H. H. PS: your Captcha codes are messed up.

02/02/2013 03:14 PM

Hello Yahoo! User,

Thank you for being a Yahoo! user. I want to apologize for any inconvenience this issue has caused you.

We've updated your account information by adding your alternate email address or mobile number. You can now use this information to clear the verification prompt. Unfortunately, at this time, we cannot clear the prompt for you.

To access your account:

Go to the Yahoo! sign-in page.

Enter your Yahoo! ID and password; and select Sign In.

Enter the security CAPTCHA code. (If you do not see a randomly generated code, simply proceed to the next step.)

Select Receive Code.

Enter/select the new alternate email address "x.x.xxxxx@gmail.com." or mobile number, then select Receive Code again. A code will be sent to the email address/mobile number you entered.

IMPORTANT: Do not navigate away from the page where you entered your alternate email address or mobile number. If you are using your alternate email address, please open a new browser tab or window to retrieve the code. If you navigate away from the verification prompt, the code that was sent will not be accepted.

Once you receive the code, you will need to enter it on the page referred to above. This will bring you to a screen to update your current password.

Please make sure to choose a password you have not previously used on your account before. It is very important to keep your password private at all times. A good password contains a combination of uppercase and lowercase letters; numbers; and/or special characters such as %, $, and +.

For help selecting a strong password and/or safeguarding it against misuse, please review the tips posted in the password section of the Yahoo! Security Center.

Here are some common ways your user name and password could have been compromised:

Responding to a fraudulent "phishing" email pretending to be from Yahoo! asking for your user name and password.

A type of malicious software called a "keylogger" on your computer.

Allowing third parties access to your account.

Leaving your account signed in at a public location.

Utilizing the same password across multiple online services or applications.

Some users have reported that the message containing the code is being blocked by Google's spam filter, or by their e-mail provider. If you do not receive the message, be sure to check in your spam folder. The message will be titled "Your Yahoo! Login Verification Code".

Additional information on this, and other Yahoo! products, can be found on the Yahoo! help page.

If you have any further concerns regarding this issue Yahoo! User, please let me know and I will be happy to assist you.

Thanks,

EMILY

Yahoo! Customer Care

www.yahoo.com

Auto-Response 02/02/2013 03:14 PM

Thank you for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.

Your Incident ID is: $#%*!&@^#^%#@

We will assume your issue has been resolved if we do not hear from you within 72 hours.

Thank you for allowing us to be of service to you.

02/02/2013 09:11 PM Dear Yahoo, My email, XXXXXX@ymail.com, does not recognize my password and the security question (one I would not have picked as I have 10+ uncles and no favorites) will not open for ANY of the names of my uncles (I even tried Uncle Sam which is not one of them.) Also the Captcha system is not validating me. There is no "getting past" the Captcha page. I did not picking this security question and I feel like this is an attempt to extort my phone number out of me. Can I please access my account without having to give you personal information? H. H.

Response Via Email (Lovely) 02/06/2013 12:30 AM

Hi Yahoo! User,

Thank you for taking the time to reach out again about your concern. I hope I will be able to further assist you with the issue.

We are sorry to hear that you are having difficulty with our alternate email address/mobile number verification process. Below are some common reasons why you may be having trouble verifying your email address or mobile number:

The email never arrives

If you are not getting the verification email at all, please make sure that you are using a valid email address. If you have tried to verify your alternate email address several times and you still never receive the email although your address is valid, we recommend asking your ISP or email provider if they are blocking any mail from Yahoo!. You may need to turn off any spam or junk mail filters so that the email is not misdirected. Also, please note that while the email will arrive quickly, it is not instantaneous. In some cases, the email may be delayed several hours due to Internet traffic and the email delivery route. If you and your ISP are not blocking any email and if it has been over 24 hours since you've requested a verification code, please let us know by following the instructions in the bottom section of this email.

You have received a "Verification link is no longer valid" or "OOPS! you are already signed in" error message.

If you are still having problems with the verification process, we encourage you to try going through the online process once again. If you are having the email sent to a valid alternate email address, you should receive a new copy of the verification message.

Additional information on this, and other Yahoo! products, can be found on the Yahoo! help page.

If you have any further issues Yahoo! User, please let me know and I will be happy to assist you.

Thanks,

Lovely

Yahoo! Customer Care

www.yahoo.com

• If you are reporting abuse, we appreciate your efforts to make our community better. We will investigate and take action where appropriate, and may contact you if additional information is required to complete our investigation.

• If you are submitting a request for assistance, or asking a question, we will respond as soon as possible.

Sincerely,

The Yahoo! Customer Care Team

Feb 6, 2013 at 8:30 PM Dear Yahoo, You said to pick a new password, XXXXXX@ymail.com won't open for new or old password. This is idiotic. The problem remains the same. Cannot answer question, it will not take my password. What ever happened to sending a new password????? How can you rob me of my account like this? H. H.

Recently you requested personal assistance from our on-line support center. Below is a summary of your request and our response.

Subject

Wrong security question

Discussion Thread

Response Via Email (Lovely) 02/06/2013 12:30 AM

(See Above, 2 page of material)

Customer By Email (Yahoo! User) 02/02/2013 09:11 PM

(See Above, 1/2 page of material)

Response Via Email (Emily) 02/02/2013 03:14 PM

(See Above, 2 page of material)

Customer (Yahoo! User) 01/30/2013 02:03 PM

(See Above, 1/2 page of material)

We will assume your issue has been resolved if we do not hear from you within 72 hours.

Thank you for allowing us to be of service to you.

02/14/2013 08:19 AM You send me ten pages of gobbledygook filled with useless advice for problems I am not having, with no contact email for further questions and completely ignoring that my account may have been hacked. I demand the right to close an account. I get all the liability and you get all the control is why the hackers and terrorists rule the Internet. Thanks for your continued support of the Chinese governments espionage system you moronic answer-bot. H. H. Sent from my iPhone

Subject

Wrong security question

Discussion Thread

Response Via Email (Barbie) 02/14/2013 05:59 PM

Hello Yahoo! User,

Before addressing your concern, I apologize that your issue has not been fully resolved.

Some users have reported that the message containing the code is being blocked by Google's spam filter, or by their e-mail provider. If you do not receive the message or the code, be sure to check in your Spam or Trash folders. The message will be titled "Your Yahoo! Login Verification Code".

Also, you may try accessing your "x.x.xxxxx@gmail.com." account using a different browser (ex. IE or Google Chrome).

Lastly, you may clear your browser's as well. For specific instructions, you may refer to the link below:

http://help.yahoo.com/kb/index?page=content&id=SLN4525&locale=en_US&y=PROD_ACCT

Additional information on this, and other Yahoo! products, can be found on the Yahoo! help page.

If you have any further issues Yahoo! User, please let me know and I will be happy to assist you.

Thanks,

Barbie

Yahoo! Customer Care

www.yahoo.com

02/16/2013 02:13 PM to Yahoo! THE SAME ANSWER TO THE QUESTION I NEVER ASKED (WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE UNCLE) WORKED FINALLY. I NEVER FOUND ANYPLACE TO PUT IN AN ALTERNATE EMAIL. YOUR SYSTEM IS COCKED UP. YOU ARE HANDING ACCOUNTS OVER TO TERRORISM AND ESPIONAGE. H. H.

A Letter to Yahoo

Dear Yahoo,

Until recently, when an user had a problem entering an account, you sent a temporary password to the user's back-up account. But when my password security questions AND your Captcha system went rogue in January, you repeatedly sent gobbledygook about using the Captcha or submitting in windows (that were inaccessible) to have a temporary password sent. Not to mention the fact that you hide your Help Email Address and make the reader pour through jargony pages of "Help" files. (A hint, the name is an oxymoron, they never help.) You blocked my account and wasted weeks of my time reading nonsense sent by computer generated drones like “Barbie” and “Lovely” and eventually my password JUST WORKED one day! (Oddly, I had sent myself an email to PROVE that despite your “This account name has not been taken” messages that the account name HAD in fact been taken. In fact on my Linux computer, accounts and passwords are automatically stored, so it is not like I could have misstyped it. Just when I was going to prove you were contradicting yourselves, the problem MAGICALLY went away!)

Your responses repeatedly used the term "alternate account" which I suspect means you devalued this email because I have more than one Yahoo account. Other Yahoo email accounts I have I have stopped using because I could not trust them. I found hundreds of "messages" sent out from them with machine code for text, although I have never sent a yahoo "message" in my life. I know dozens of people who have Yahoo accounts that they have abandoned because of such problems. Yahoo is getting a reputation as the safe harbor for hackers and internet espionage.

Why do you continue to destroy your reputation with this automated bullshit? You treated us like idiots, blocked account for weeks and I suspect none of that would have happened (to me) if I gave you my cell phone number to spy on and sell, because if you can't make money out of me by "connecting the dots" to everything I text, buy and say then I am worthless for you and you can treat me as garbage. Frankly, if I gave you everything you WANTED you would still treat me like garbage.

I think Yahoo is an evil company. But unlike Facebook which is just evil, you are evil and horribly mismanaged.

HH