One two three four, a parody of Bannibal's four lessons:
Poetic Clean-up
On a beauteous day at a family picnic
I have to bow out for a drunken sick
Please read this careful, it clever and obscure
No one knows porcelain like a drunk internet whore.
Diary of a Troll
Switching accounts causes me to sweat
They'll ne'er recognize me now I'll bet
I hide the hand that tips off the mind
I'm stupid and insane, hope the readers are blind!
But my hemorrhoids aching deep and strong
Perhaps I have sat in this chair too long
Satan's corpse
I found a devil in my own back yard
And hit him with my shovel HARD
But finding he was still quite alert
I tried to pile him up with dirt
Now in my garden, nothing grows
No flowers, nor leaves
...just the Devil's nose!
It wasn't the devil that killed my joy
It was my own hasty digging - excitable boy!
Swallowing the Worm
Tossing the bottle off the porch
"I've had enough!" my pal fetched it of course
If I had dumped it or drank five more swigs
He wouldn't have poisoned himself with the whole thing.
Standing over his sorrowful grave
How did the worms taste
How do the worms like YOU Dave?
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Best and Worst First Week of April
Best and worst week 6
Best:
Lo and behold, we have a gem by Dallas. I have been waiting for you to make the best list. Long overdue given you capability:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
The whole family is having a good week. Here is a good'un from Kels:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Cassie58 also makes a contribution (not her best of her best but even her mediocre poems easily make the best list:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Dave almost made the worst list on Sunday, but others have just been badder.
Quote of the week (TBO complaining about his own typical behavior in others:
"personally,I try to make others look into a mirror. PRIDE causes them to post after saying they left. some can not take even a hint of correction. but come back for more .then cry over TD."
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Worst:
Cassie58 in a rare dreadful piece, reads like a sonnet f-for st-St-stutterers.
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Koye continues to return and destroy his fantastic reputation as a poet by writing trite, knee-jerk liberal truisms as if they were deep insights, like this one:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
This one is not a surprise as Gene is always a likely candidate for the worst list. If I were to write the above in Gene's style it would day this:
This one not surprise
Always a likely
Gene for the worst list
Write it in
The style of above
[It actually reads better because you already know what I am trying to say.]
How about this one:
Broken phrases
writing does not constitute
Poetry, impressed
People are by the amateur.
Why?
Which means:
Writing in broken phrases does not constitute poetry. Why are people so impressed by this amateur mess?
Here it is:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Best:
Lo and behold, we have a gem by Dallas. I have been waiting for you to make the best list. Long overdue given you capability:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
The whole family is having a good week. Here is a good'un from Kels:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Cassie58 also makes a contribution (not her best of her best but even her mediocre poems easily make the best list:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Dave almost made the worst list on Sunday, but others have just been badder.
Quote of the week (TBO complaining about his own typical behavior in others:
"personally,I try to make others look into a mirror. PRIDE causes them to post after saying they left. some can not take even a hint of correction. but come back for more .then cry over TD."
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Worst:
Cassie58 in a rare dreadful piece, reads like a sonnet f-for st-St-stutterers.
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Koye continues to return and destroy his fantastic reputation as a poet by writing trite, knee-jerk liberal truisms as if they were deep insights, like this one:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
This one is not a surprise as Gene is always a likely candidate for the worst list. If I were to write the above in Gene's style it would day this:
This one not surprise
Always a likely
Gene for the worst list
Write it in
The style of above
[It actually reads better because you already know what I am trying to say.]
How about this one:
Broken phrases
writing does not constitute
Poetry, impressed
People are by the amateur.
Why?
Which means:
Writing in broken phrases does not constitute poetry. Why are people so impressed by this amateur mess?
Here it is:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Peter can't lie for lying
[An email I wrote someone in March]
Pete can't lie for lying.
Here is Peter's latest post [all but one paren being mine, he said (HH).]
Pete writes:
I would like to see Gio on the one hand, and Dave, CW, and Funky Monkey on the other, post apologies to one another. (No he wouldn't) REAL APOLOGIES, (He means fakes like HIS apologies) none of the insults as usual. You are all wrong! (Lie) Yes, Gio, even you. (He does not mean also Gio) I will start it off. (No he won't he is just going to lie some more.)
I apologize to Nancy for overreacting to her insult. (He doesn't mean this) I hope she can see her friends for what they are, (this is what he means, believe his lies about her friends, ALSO a lie) because the sentiments I have expressed, and the facts I disclosed, all came from them (lie) They are no friends. (lie)
I apologize to Kathy, (no he doesn't, he just finished insulting her!) for disclosing what she privately said about Nancy. Nancy should know that those she has taken at face value have to be scrutinized a bit more. (Making a lie out of the apology and defending his duplicity while decrying her's!)
I apologize to all for any extra accounts I created out of frustration for purposes of answering your posts, (no he doesn't/not why he created them - a double lie!) but usually did so only when I was being attacked. (a lie) I do know that others have been creating accounts with my name, (lie) and in the case of one former user (HH) [I am not a "former user" as I did not "retire", another lie) my likeness, to damage my credibility. (lies)
Let me close by saying that the root problem here, (a lie) as in so much of life, (a lie) is the extremely thin skins too many possess. (a lie, the root problem being vicious malicious users like Pete)There are no great poets here, (lie, and he means besides himself, another double lie) only people wishing to share their writing and hopefully to improve. (he does not believe this and so it is, for him, a lie) And now, I would like all of you to post your apologies. (no he wouldn't - a lie) It would be a hopeful beginning. (a lie.)
Peter (only true statement here.)
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Is it gone? Peter is quick to remove his obnoxious remarks so that they don't get reported.
Pete can't lie for lying.
Here is Peter's latest post [all but one paren being mine, he said (HH).]
Pete writes:
I would like to see Gio on the one hand, and Dave, CW, and Funky Monkey on the other, post apologies to one another. (No he wouldn't) REAL APOLOGIES, (He means fakes like HIS apologies) none of the insults as usual. You are all wrong! (Lie) Yes, Gio, even you. (He does not mean also Gio) I will start it off. (No he won't he is just going to lie some more.)
I apologize to Nancy for overreacting to her insult. (He doesn't mean this) I hope she can see her friends for what they are, (this is what he means, believe his lies about her friends, ALSO a lie) because the sentiments I have expressed, and the facts I disclosed, all came from them (lie) They are no friends. (lie)
I apologize to Kathy, (no he doesn't, he just finished insulting her!) for disclosing what she privately said about Nancy. Nancy should know that those she has taken at face value have to be scrutinized a bit more. (Making a lie out of the apology and defending his duplicity while decrying her's!)
I apologize to all for any extra accounts I created out of frustration for purposes of answering your posts, (no he doesn't/not why he created them - a double lie!) but usually did so only when I was being attacked. (a lie) I do know that others have been creating accounts with my name, (lie) and in the case of one former user (HH) [I am not a "former user" as I did not "retire", another lie) my likeness, to damage my credibility. (lies)
Let me close by saying that the root problem here, (a lie) as in so much of life, (a lie) is the extremely thin skins too many possess. (a lie, the root problem being vicious malicious users like Pete)There are no great poets here, (lie, and he means besides himself, another double lie) only people wishing to share their writing and hopefully to improve. (he does not believe this and so it is, for him, a lie) And now, I would like all of you to post your apologies. (no he wouldn't - a lie) It would be a hopeful beginning. (a lie.)
Peter (only true statement here.)
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Is it gone? Peter is quick to remove his obnoxious remarks so that they don't get reported.
Yahoo Has Gone Away -- No Such Luck!
Dear Yahoo,
Over the years in Yahoo Answers I have been offended insulted and reported hundreds of times sometimes dozens of times in a week, I have been slandered in so many ridiculous ways, I have filed complaint after complaint that your system is buggy and THEN, after years of abuse, I get a warning notice in a week with only FOUR violations (practically a first week that low,) but some troll-control person in Yahoo takes and interest in me and BAM I have no more account. Yes I insulted those attacking me because it was my last chance.
If your system is completely broken you give the users no other choice. Your company has never once responded to anything I have ever written, and you do not fix the gaping problems in your "monitoring system" so I should not have been suspended.
That's the truth.
HH
Their response:
Thank you for emailing Yahoo!
Unfortunately this email address is no longer used for Customer Care inquiries. For better routing please visit us at Yahoo! Help where you can search or browse all Yahoo! product or account answers to the most common questions, find how-tos and tutorials, as well as contact Customer Care.
Boo-Dis, Boo-Dis, Buddhist!
"Self" wrote this piece about a father fixing his angry son by having
him hammer a nail in the fence every time he got angry. After that he
had him remove one every time he went a day without getting angry. Then
he points to all the holes and says apologizing is pointless because the
holes still remain, basically punishing the child for reforming. So I
wanted to mock the piece, but she removed it. Here is my response anyway
(for your entertainment.):
Why I am not a Buddhist:
[I wish I had the original here to show you what I am mocking, but Buddhists write in sand and then erase their answers in a sort of passive-aggressive egolessness.]
variant 1:
A father saw his son getting angry all the time so he told him to put a nail through their front fence every time he got angry. But the "father" was a woman author who didn't realize that boys LOVE to hammer nails!
variant 2:
The father told his son, every time you sit in judgement on another, put a nail in the fence. The boy noticed that right away his father put his millionth nail in the fence for his remarks to his son. Self and Hiram were right next to him hammering in their nails.
variant 3:
The boy removed the last of the nails once his anger had subsided and his father said "See, the holes are still there. You cannot remove the hurt by apologizing. So the boy hammered in another two nails, one for his father's annoying and insulting exercise and one for his anger at the results.
Why I am not a Buddhist:
[I wish I had the original here to show you what I am mocking, but Buddhists write in sand and then erase their answers in a sort of passive-aggressive egolessness.]
variant 1:
A father saw his son getting angry all the time so he told him to put a nail through their front fence every time he got angry. But the "father" was a woman author who didn't realize that boys LOVE to hammer nails!
variant 2:
The father told his son, every time you sit in judgement on another, put a nail in the fence. The boy noticed that right away his father put his millionth nail in the fence for his remarks to his son. Self and Hiram were right next to him hammering in their nails.
variant 3:
The boy removed the last of the nails once his anger had subsided and his father said "See, the holes are still there. You cannot remove the hurt by apologizing. So the boy hammered in another two nails, one for his father's annoying and insulting exercise and one for his anger at the results.
Best and Worst last Week of March
Week four best and worst.
Best:
At first this werk Adeline_cosine seemed to be the only player. Here is a good'un with lots of subtle meaning:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Kels gets a simple idea out beautifully:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
All women this week, not a surprise as the men are too busy slugging it out, but this one is unique. Every time Caz tries to write in her old jabberwocky style it falls flat ( as this one did, in an earlier version,) but unlike her other efforts this one does not fall apart by being corrected:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Bravo Caz (or whoever you are.)
Worst:
Caz, who once wrote brilliant jabberwocky is now writing drivel. What the hell happened to her "brain injury"? Is this another Yahoo fraud or am I missing something?
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Billy, Billy, I liked this poem last week, now you strap it to a dirge and write four more lugubrious chapters. Wassamaterwitu?
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Frederic picked this up, which the cow's had left, somewhere in a meadow:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Best and worst in one:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
The first half has been rewritten out of all that it was worth and the second half works, go figure!
Lastly indeterminate -- I have been so frustrated and disappointed by Dave of late that I want to point this one out even though I hated it because it is rare anymore that he writes this competently, even though the theme goes horribly awry:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Best:
At first this werk Adeline_cosine seemed to be the only player. Here is a good'un with lots of subtle meaning:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Kels gets a simple idea out beautifully:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
All women this week, not a surprise as the men are too busy slugging it out, but this one is unique. Every time Caz tries to write in her old jabberwocky style it falls flat ( as this one did, in an earlier version,) but unlike her other efforts this one does not fall apart by being corrected:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Bravo Caz (or whoever you are.)
Worst:
Caz, who once wrote brilliant jabberwocky is now writing drivel. What the hell happened to her "brain injury"? Is this another Yahoo fraud or am I missing something?
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Billy, Billy, I liked this poem last week, now you strap it to a dirge and write four more lugubrious chapters. Wassamaterwitu?
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Frederic picked this up, which the cow's had left, somewhere in a meadow:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Best and worst in one:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
The first half has been rewritten out of all that it was worth and the second half works, go figure!
Lastly indeterminate -- I have been so frustrated and disappointed by Dave of late that I want to point this one out even though I hated it because it is rare anymore that he writes this competently, even though the theme goes horribly awry:
http://answers.yahoo.com/
Dave Sold Out (1 month ago)
[I have given up on trying to deal with Dave, but this was written about a month ago, and I am posting all of my backlog of posts.]
After Dave praised this crap...
...he sold his value as a commentator. Praise your allies and insult people whom you disagree with. That is how to turn a poetry site into a dank sandbox.
Congrats Dave!
http://answers.yahoo.com/
After Dave praised this crap...
...he sold his value as a commentator. Praise your allies and insult people whom you disagree with. That is how to turn a poetry site into a dank sandbox.
Congrats Dave!
http://answers.yahoo.com/
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